It can be difficult to make a girl see you as more than a friend, especially if you’ve known each other for many years. While your feelings may have moved from platonic to romantic recently (or you may have held a candle for her for many years) getting her to shift her emotional state to match yours can be a challenge.
Here are some of the potential issues that can stand in your way, and how you can overcome each of these to make her view you in a new light.
Stop Stifling Romance
How you behave with a female friend is different than how you act towards your dating partner. She may see you as just a friend because you aren’t keeping this distinction in mind.
You may be a little too silly, goofing around like you would with your guy buddies. This can make it extremely difficult for her to picture being with you romantically, as you just don’t appear to be a strong male figure in her mind. She needs to know that you have a serious side, which can begin to foster attraction from her side of the equation.
After all, most girls need to be able to picture you as being able to provide for a family in future years, and being a stable foundation which they can count on. If you’re always playing around and treating her as any other guy friend, then she won’t be able to see these qualities clearly. Ask Men recommends that you curb all the “guy talk” around her and begin treating her as you would any woman you’re interested in.
In the Girlfriend Activation System, this concept falls under the topic of “impression”. If she only wants to be friends, you’ve probably given her the wrong impression of you. The good news is, you can reset impression and the Girlfriend Activation System has an entire module dedicated to this process (Video 17: Resetting Impression).
In their module by module breakdown of the Girlfriend Activation System, NewspaperCat.org describes the “Resetting Impression” video and states:
“In this Girlfriend System video, Christian sets out the tried and tested techniques guys can use when they need to bust out of the friend-zone. Christian explains the steps you need to take to get a girl to come to the logical conclusion that she wants to be more than just friends, even if she’s already rejected you in the past.”
If you want to make a girl see you as more than a friend, resetting impression is one of the best things you can do.
Pull Back And Give Less
Psychology Today says you may be stuck in the dreaded friend zone because you’re meeting all of her needs without getting enough in return. In other words, you’re more invested in the relationship than she is because you’re willing to sacrifice your desire for a romantic relationship just to be close to her (even if it’s just as a friend).
You may provide her with everything that a boyfriend would, except physical intimacy, so she doesn’t feel the need to take things past the friend zone for this reason. After all, she is getting most of her needs met without any commitment or having to experience the fear or uncertainty that moving into romantic territory can bring. This may cause her to feel that she has nothing to gain by becoming your girlfriend and dating you.
The way to counter this problem is not by giving more, but by pulling back instead. Start spending less time with her, be less interested, and do less for her.
She probably takes all the benefits you provide for granted, and by removing some of these, she will start to realize how much she values having you in her life. You often don’t miss something until you no longer have it, and by withdrawing somewhat, you can give her the motivation to start meeting your needs in terms of having a romantic relationship.
If this period of pulling back doesn’t have any effect, this can be a clue that she will never be willing to enter into a dating relationship with you. While disappointing, it is valuable to learn this information as soon as you can to avoid wasting years pining after her to no avail.
Make Slow Adjustments
If you’ve had romantic feelings for a long time, you know what it feels like to desperately want her. Springing your feelings on her all at once can be a shock, especially if she has never considered you as a potential romantic partner.
One strategy to overcome this is to slowly begin sending her subtle hints and signals that you’re interested in being more than friends. As she slowly starts picking up on these signals, it will give her time to assess how she feels about you and whether she shares this attraction.
Just don’t wait too long to make your move, as eventually you’ll have to risk the friendship to determine if she’s willing to take things to the next level. Drop her subtle hints while also cutting back on the amount of time and attention that you give her. If you want to make a girl see you as more than a friend, this subtle “hot-cold” strategy gives you a two-pronged approach which may improve your odds of being successful.